


The Change

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-21 12:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20693636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: Deceit decides that its time for a change in his life, tired of being treated as nothing but the most awful and evil villain... he decides to go the largest degree possible to take that change. Leaving everything that he had behind him.





	1. Chapter 1

Deceit’s clothes were in the trashcan.

The pitch-black caplet rimmed with yellow, the bowler hat, his shirt, and even his pants were stuffed in the trashcan as far as they would go down. It looked like they had been shoved down in there with a great deal of force, given how the bowler hat was caved in on itself after being mashed together with all of the clothes there. Everything from Deceit’s closet was strewn on the ground, ripped tatters of clothing laying haphazardously on the floor. Snake themed pajamas had been shredded completely so that there was no way to tell that the symbol on those clothes had even been a snake, to begin with. Everything, everything that had once told Deceit that he was a snake, and that he had always been a snake had been ruined.

And honestly, had it been done by anyone but himself the dishonest side would have undoubtedly been upset by it. Except, he did do it. He was the one who had taken a pair of scissors to every article of clothing that he had at one point conjured for himself. 

He had done it. 

Standing in front of the mirror, in clothes that rubbed against his skin in a way that he more than anything hated. He looked back at himself, at the person he was trying to be now. 

His dark clothing had been swapped in for a nice sunny yellow sweater, and his black pants for a warm lightly golden brown that was the exact shade of a cookie when it was done baking. There were lovely sunflowers all over his new sweater, that showed off a much more… happy disposition than he would have liked. Even his gloves were gone, revealing the flesh that he normally kept hidden from the world as well as himself, skin that… still had scales on it. 

That was the only thing that remained of the old him, the old Deceit, the him that he was trying to forget.

Those damn scales.

His eyes were the warm brown that they always should have been had he not been cursed with the appearance and likemindedness of a snake, brown and beautiful in the way the others would like. He had never minded his snakey eye, nor his scales, or the way that he sometimes had to swap his words around. But to the others… he was flawed, he was a mistake, he was the evilness of a good person that was lurking below waiting to strike, and he was… just bad. To them, he didn’t have the capability to change, to grow and become better, to them the only way that he could ever change was for the worst. 

“I’ll miss you,” He honestly said to his scales as well as to himself, giving those bright glimmering brown and green scales one last longing look. He loved those scales, but alas… He moved his hand, allowing his fingertips to trail over the smooth scales, watching as they vanished in the wake of that one simple movement. They were… gone. “But it is for the best,” He told himself, forcing back the tears that wanted to arise at the sight of his ‘normal’ face. “Snakes never get what they want by being snakes.” 

It was true, it was so painfully and obviously true. 

If he wanted love, if he wanted acceptance, and if he wanted a family again… then he’d have to pluck himself of his scales and change. 

That was the only way. 

Looking back at his normal reflection he tried to smile at himself, regardless of how ugly such a thing made him feel. He wanted to sneer and snarl at his reflection just like he always did to make himself laugh, but… he couldn’t, because if he was going to be a light side.. then he needed to act like one. Whether he liked it or not, he needed to pass so that meant putting all of his acting expertise to good use and passing. 

His smile looked nervous and scared even to him, but… it was good enough. 

Looking around his bedroom, he longingly gazed at his things for the last time. His shelf that held books detailing magician tricks, the little trinkets that had everything that Remus had made for him over the years for his birthday, the picture frames that had him, Remus, and Virgil smiling at the camera… his room held it all. It held all of his memories, starting from the time he had first formed into a side in the first place, just to be greeted by the cold darkness that had nearly done him in the first night alone. At least that was, until Virgil had come along and found him… and saved him. 

Deceit swallowed thickly roughly blinking back tears, “Goodbye,” He simply said to it and to everything he had once held most dear in his life. 

Closing his eyes, he sank down willing himself to leave everything behind and to not take a single thing with him that would give him away in this new place. He had to be strong, and if he took even the smallest of things with him… well then it would all be over, and he’d be scorned even more than before once they found out. It was best to just leave it all behind, just as Virgil did, not taking a single thing. 

It was warm. 

That was the first sensation he felt as soon as his feet touched the ground, it was so warm that his itchy sweater felt almost suffocating to him. That, and it was bright too. Brighter than the dimly lit hallways of the subconscious that would occasionally flicker and die, brighter than even the kitchen that had always been the brightest area of their living quarters. It was bright and warm, how on earth did Virgil live like this? Had he gotten used to it with his hoodie on? Had he secretly been hiding ice packs under it to stay cool so that he didn’t have a heat stroke? Or did he merely get used to it, adapting and evolving to become… better? 

Blinking his eyes slowly, the world gradually came into view as his eyes adjusted to what had once been blinding light. He was.. He was in a hallway, a hallway that he had never been in before. Honestly, he had expected to end up in the living room, given that it was where he was imagining, but then again… he didn’t exactly know the other side’s area so well as he knew his own. 

Glancing around Deceit was certain that to anyone looking he looked as small as he felt in the new area, like a tiny baby snake that wasn’t used to being born yet. He nervously swallowed, glancing at each of the doors before him. This really shouldn’t have been as hard as it was, and yet he here he was, having no idea on just which direction he was supposed to go. The area being a whole lot more massive than he had ever expected it to be. Where on earth was he supposed to start? 

“Head I go left, tails I go right.” He merely told himself, scrounging around in his pockets for a quarter before getting it ready to flip. It landed on the space between his feet, the neutral face of whichever president looking back up at him. “Left it is…” Deceit muttered to him, swiping the quarter back up before looking in that direction. The stairs leading down at least told him where he was heading, so there was that to look forward to. 

The itchy sweater clung to his back and arms as he slunk forward, his hand trailing along the wall as he made it to the lip of the first step of the stairway. Glancing down he felt his heart go soft in the middle, they were all there with Thomas in the middle. Virgil was leaning casually against the stairway railing, looking over to Roman as the creative side was rambling on and on. The others to their credit were listening as well, given that the creative side seemed to be holding a massive book in his hands and just from what he could tell, that was what he was talking about. Was it a book club? Surely not, Roman would never have agreed to anything so boring as that, if Logan had been the one to suggest it. Both Patton and Virgil would find such a thing to be too… boring.

Right? 

Deceit lingered, he couldn’t help himself. The warm friendly atmosphere was just that… warm and friendly. It was nice to watch the other being enraptured by the story that Roman was spewing off, he couldn’t help but to smile even the smallest bit as the creative side waved his hands in an exaggerated manner his gaze shooting over to Virgil. He could have stood there for an eternity just watching, and he would have been none the wiser about such a thing. At least that was… until Roman’s eyes gradually shifted from Virgil, trailing up the stairs just to lock right on Deceit himself. 

Lingering like a villain in the background. 

“Great googly moogly!” Roman’s words shattered the pleasant aura that Deceit had been observing, “Who are you?!” The princely side declared, his book having been dropped as he pointed to the side right behind Virgil, to his credit the creative side hadn't drawn his sword this time... so there was at least that on his side.

Within an instant, Virgil whipped around, a clear but startled look on his face, that soon morphed into a half-hearted snarl. Logan merely looked curious at the new side before them all, a curious sort of glint shining in the eyes hidden behind his glasses as he tilted his head to the side in an effort to get a better look at him. While Patton… much to Deceit’s surprise, the moral side appeared to be the happiest of the bunch at the sight of him. Of course, he was… none of them knew that it was him, his scales and creepy eye were gone, and to Patton of all people, he looked nice and normal. So, of course, there were no sneers and harshly thrown comments at the state of his dress, they didn’t know.. they didn’t know. 

Of course, that didn’t stop Deceit from almost immediately flinching back. Releasing his grasp on the railing as he instinctively moved back away from them all. 

Patton was the first one to take a step forward, his hand outstretched towards the disguised Deceit. “Wait!” A soft patient smile curled on his lips, his eyes showing nothing but warmth and trust as he slowly took a step forward. “Wait,” He said more softly, “It’s okay, we were just surprised. You can come down.” He took one step at a time, doing everything in his power to look as unintimidating and unthreatening as possible. “Are you a new one?” He couldn’t help but to ask, it had been such a long time since they had seen a new side in their parts, and to suddenly see one now… it was unheard of since Remus and Roman had formed. “What’s your name… who are you.” 

A part of Patton wanted to croon at the adorable sweater that the other side was wearing, but a more serious and fatherly part of him knew that it would have to wait as he extended his hand out to the side who was nervously picking at the golden thread holding said sweater together. It was a friendly gesture, and it would be read as a friendly gesture to the side in front of him, at least… he hoped that it would. And that he wouldn’t accidentally scare the new side off, and that maybe… who knows. 

The golden-brown eyes of the other side suspiciously darted between Patton and his hand, as if it were a venomous cobra that would strike out and attack him. His fingers bunched up the material of his sweater as his back pressed flat against the wall, like a terrified little mouse not daring to make a single move. 

“It’s okay,” Patton repeated in a gentle whisper, slowly lowering his hand, not daring to break the eye contact that he had.“I promise, you’re safe here and not one of us is going to hurt you. It’s okay.” 

A pair of fingers gingerly and shyly curled around his pointer finger, gripping it fairly loosely. 

“I…” The side before him nervously swallowed and shuffled their feet, “I am Self Preservation.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton shows Deceit basic love and affection and Deceit cries.

One

Summary:

* * *

“Now forgive me if I’m wrong… But isn’t Deceit’s job supposed to partially be self-preservation?” 

The side in question ducked his head into the cup of hot chocolate as Logan asked his question, standing before Deceit as soon as Patton had managed to talk him into coming downstairs and sitting on the couch. He hadn’t been able to even look at Thomas, not after knowing how his host felt about the true version of him that he had wiped away, and not after hearing so many of the thoughts that Thomas had thought about him directly after he had left. He.. just couldn’t bring himself to look at Thomas, instead, he found himself focusing on the cup of hot chocolate that was mostly whipped cream with sprinkles instead. 

He focused mainly on the whipped cream part of the beverage, it was hot enough with his sweater and nearly boiling temperature of the mind space where he was right then as it was. He really didn’t need to add on with a hot beverage that would make him pass out due to heat exhaustion. 

Deceit forced his nose to wrinkle at Logan’s question, showing a healthy amount of distaste, “Figures that he’d lie about that too,” He muttered, letting on that Deceit out of everyone mentioned was someone that he did not stand, and while it hurt to hate himself so vocally… it was necessary to lie in such a way that they would believe it without a doubt. And who knows… maybe after a while, he wouldn’t have to lie about… maybe by then, he’d actually hate his old self as much as he said that he did. Maybe then-

Patton’s hand squeezed his knee, and Deceit couldn’t help but to flinch at the sudden and very warm touch before forcing himself to relax. 

For a moment the moral side grimaced, clearly not used to someone who wasn’t as receptive to his touching as the others were. “I’m sorry he stole your title from you, kiddo but…” Patton moved his hand back to his lap nervously chewing on his bottom lip, “Can you tell us what happened to you? Where have you been if you aren’t new? Usually, most of us end up where we’re supposed to be… what happened? Were you hurt?”

Deceit clutched the mug that he was holding, how much should he tell them? How much would they at least accept before thinking that it was a lie.. or just not believe him? His eyes darted over to Virgil who still hadn’t moved from the steps, it was pretty clear that the anxious side didn’t trust him yet. Be that because he had popped up and scared him or… or because he had claimed a title that Deceit technically had a reign over. Whatever reason, Deceit felt an acute amount of stress bearing down on him. 

His knuckles were practically white as he clutches the mug even tighter. 

“I…” Deceit anxiously licked his lips his entire mouth feeling much too dry, why hadn’t he thought of a cover story? Why had he just thought of a title name and went with it? Why didn’t he think this through? Why? Why? Why? Should he tell them about the darkness? About the cold that bit at his skin, that slowed his blood flow until he could barely move, about the echoing loneliness that made him imagine voices in the darkness where there truly were none? Should he tell them about the...the... “I…”

“Kiddo,” Patton’s stern but equally soft voice made Deceit’s gaze snap over to him within seconds his shoulders tensing up almost instantly, the moral side looked absolutely serious with his lips pressed into a thin line and his hands clenching and unclenching in his lap. He wanted to reach out to the side next to him, to cuddle Self Preservation into a hug and squeeze him so tight that the terrified look in his eyes would go away. Patton wanted to do all of that, but considering how the other side had flinched from his touch the first time.. he didn’t dare. “It’s okay,” Patton softly said, “You don’t have to say a single word until you’re ready to say something.” 

Glancing up to Logan’s semi-proud smile, Patton couldn’t help but to beam back at the logical side feeling happiness welling up inside him at the sight of such a simple smile adorning Logan’s face at his own restraint. At least that was… until he looked back at Self Preservation and saw the look on his face.

Tears.

Tears had welled up in the other side’s eyes and were spilling down his cheeks and dripping softly into the hot chocolate that had long since gone lukewarm. 

Deceit swallowed thickly hurriedly setting down his cup in order to hastily wipe at his own face with his sleeves, “I’m so sorry!” He quickly said, dragging his sleeve over his cheek once again in order to dry up the tears that seemingly kept coming and coming. “I.. It’s been a while, and… I’ve never felt like this before. I.. I don’t really know what to do.” He wasn’t lying, the emotions welling up in his throat were things that he had never permitted himself to ever feel, it was like the warmth blossoming in his chest… he never thought he’d ever feel that again. 

He had promised himself that he wouldn’t cry after Virgil had left, and yet here he was…

Patton couldn’t help but to worriedly look back at Self Preservation, something painful pounding in his chest. He wasn’t entirely sure as to what the poor side had gone through, but whatever it was he had clearly been neglected of love and basic bodily contact with other people to the point he was scared of it. He knew Deceit that was obvious enough, but who else did he know? Had he met Remus? What about the other dark sides, had he come into contact with them? Regardless of the answer, he wanted so very badly to hug the weeping side in front of him until the tears stopped pouring from his eyes. There was nothing that he wanted more, than to do that.

Instead, he looked over to Roman who looked almost guilty about having called the other's presence out and scaring him. He had reacted better than when Virge had first shown up, but that honestly wasn’t saying much all things considered.

“Ro Ro,” Patton smiled warmly as soon as Roman’s head shot up from where it had been bowed, “Why don’t you make him a room, I’m sure that he’d like to get settled in and enjoy a nice comfortable sleep here where he’s safe… right?” A nod from Self Preservation was the only thing that answered him, as the sweater-wearing side was still more preoccupied with wiping his tears than actually trying to speak, not that the moral side held it against him. He must have gone through a lot, and was understandably tired. “Perfect!” Patton beamed again, “You know what to do Ro!” 

Roman seemed almost relieved to have been given a task, cracking his knuckles with a dramatic flair before smoothly offering his arm to the new side with his usual charismatic and dapper grin on his face that told the other everything he would ever need about him. Mostly that he wasn’t to be feared, and that above all else… he wasn’t a bad guy, no matter how brash he had acted at first. 

In one quick movement, he swept his hair back out of his face, “If you’ll come with me my dashing prince,” A delighted look swept across Roman face as a snort of laughter left the other side, before he gingerly pinched the seam of Roman’s sleeve that being all that he was willing to do. “I will make you a grand kingdom unlike any seen before, so be prepared sensational news!” 

It felt like a gift to get the smile that he did, as he led the other side away from the others offering Virgil only the tiniest of glances as the anxious merely scooted out of the way. Virgil hadn’t said a word since the new side had come into their fold, he hadn’t even sneered or snarled at him since his initial surprise of having someone behind him. And honestly Roman would have been more surprised, except for the fact that he was busy already imagining what a glorious room he would make for the new side, as an apology for startling him so badly upon their first meeting. 

The door was already in place, a simple but bright door with the other’s initials curving in an elegant cursive right in the middle of a bright yellow sunflower, right where he had imagined them to be in the first place. Paler dots filled up the door around the sunflower, making the door overall look like the brightest one in the hallway… aside from Patton’s door but there was really no getting around that. Seeing as their resident puffball was the brightest one among them. 

_‘SP’_

However, he stopped the other side dead in their tracks before either of them could walk inside. “Now talk to me,” He purred, leaning casually against the door. “What colors would you like, items, details babe, details. Mini fridge? Posters? Tv screen? How about a walk-in closet big enough to be a bedroom? What about a king-size bed, if you get me.” Honestly, in that moment Roman almost felt like his brother with the wink that he laid out, but it was far too late to back out now. “Rugs?” 

Deceit wanted to laugh, there was no other word or emotion for the giddiness that welled up inside of him at bashfulness that swept over Roman’s face only to be hidden by a flirtatious nature that could only be rivaled by Remus’ own crass nature. It was the one and only familiar thing here in this new place, and it may have made the very tips of his ears pinken just a little bit, not that he’d tell anyone that. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” He finally said, wanting to get the big elephant out of the room. “I popped up out of nowhere and you didn’t know who I was, you reacted… it's okay that you reacted.” Before Roman could respond, Deceit quickly reached out giving Roman’s shoulder a quick but precise pat. The relief that bloomed in Roman’s eyes made Deceit feel a little bit bad for what he was doing, Roman didn’t know that it was him… but if he did would his reactions be any different… would he have drawn his sword instead of merely being surprised by him popping up behind Virgil? 

There was no use dwelling on it… and yet he did. He wanted to know, even though he knew what their reactions would be. They’d hate him, they’d force him to go back where he didn’t want to. This place was too bright and much too warm, but… it was preferable over the cold any day, he could grow and he could learn here. Back there… 

He would stagnate and stay the same. 

“Hey,” Deceit eyes snapped up to Roman’s face as the other’s hand lingered over his shoulder for a moment. “You don’t have to look so sad either,” A tiny smile curled on Roman’s lips, “You’re safe here, I promise. You’ll always be safe here, so what’ll it be?” 

He wanted to kiss him in that moment, all consequences of that action be damned. That smile, that warmness, the tenderness held in those eyes. He meant what he was saying, Roman, of course, hadn’t been lying one single time in that sentence he had just said. It rang with the kind of honesty that Deceit really wasn’t used to, the kind of honesty that.. that he’d probably be hearing a lot more of in the coming time that he was going to spend with him. And it made his insides do funny things, as it had when Patton had smiled at him like he wasn’t an enemy. It.. it was nice, it was really truly and honestly nice. 

“Yellow,” He finally said, a rare smile gracing his face. “I like yellow and sunflowers.” 


	3. Chapter 3

Soon enough the sound of Roman’s voice faded away as he clambered up the stairs with the new side, and it was then and only then when Virgil picked himself up from the bottom of the stairs barely offering the direction in which Roman had gone a single glance. His fingers plucked at the strands of white thread that stood out on his jacket, making one of the ends unravel as he ventured into the kitchen where Patton and Logan were more than likely getting ready to discuss what they would be having for dinner since they had a new guest who’s food tastes they literally knew nothing about. Chances were… they’d probably go for pasta as a go-to, that was what they had done for him when he had been stubborn and quite, but still willing to show up for dinners in the first place. 

For one quiet moment, he watched Logan and Patton deliberate between choosing spaghetti sauce and alfredo, their silent anxieties telling him that they were terrified that their new guest had some kind of unspoken allergy to either one of them. It was nice… and familiar, something that he was used to, the complete opposite of the new stranger that would now be living among them. 

“Why don’t we just make both!” Patton nervously chattered to Logan, holding up both the can of spaghetti sauce and jar of alfredo sauce, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Many things,” Logan calmly butted in, as he started to count on his fingers. “He could go into a food-induced coma, he could go into shock by one of the many ingredients that you add to your dinners every night, his throat could swell up making it impossible for him to breathe, he could get hives, he could-”

With each word that left his mouth, Patton seemed to grow more and more unsure.

“Guys,” Virgil cut Logan off quickly knowing that the logical side could and most certainly would carry on for the rest of the night if they allowed him to. And now that he had their attention he forced himself to leave the unraveling string of his jacket alone as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, focusing his gaze onto the little patch of flour on Patton’s glasses rather than meeting his eyes. “Doesn’t he seem a little… I don’t know…” He muttered, his gaze dropping down to the knot of Patton’s cat hoodie, “A little odd?” He hated to admit such a thing, but he… he just had this feeling since the other side had popped up behind him. The kind of feeling that came to him like the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end, or like when he was waiting for a ghost to pop up during a horror movie. Suspense. “He feels… a little off to me, you know?” 

They probably didn’t know, he was the only one who got these kinds of feelings. 

Just the other week he had felt spooked by the ice dispenser of the fridge because it had been churning out more ice than usual, he felt iffy about even Thomas’ car when the tires made a different sound on the road. He was the last person who honestly should have been basing any kind of hard facts on something as fickle as gut feelings. He was Anxiety, everything was a bad gut feeling for him. Nothing was ever going to change that, that was for sure.

And yet… 

Logan's hand laid heavily across his shoulder snapping Virgil out of his internal rambling musing. “It is alright,” The logical side patiently said, an almost awkward but warm smile quirking on his lips. “It took you quite a long time to get used to us and all of our eccentricities, and this is a new person who you aren’t familiar with. It is okay to say that he ‘squicks you out’ at first, you don’t exactly have the same relationship with him that you do with us. And that is perfectly normal, just because he is staying with us does not mean you are obligated to treat him like you would us.” Logan readjusted his glasses, as out of nowhere a notecard appeared in his hand. “I believe the term is… ‘Different strokes for different folks’?” 

Within seconds a groan left Virgil’s lips as his palm connected with his face, a mixture of awkwardness and embarrassment rushing through him at the phrase that their resident logical side had printed out onto the notecard. He didn’t even want to imagine where Logan had found that phrase out, although he could pretty much guess given the faintest curve of the other side’s lips that revealed the smallest and most satisfied smirk that he had ever seen on Logan’s face to this day. 

Cheeky. 

“Logan’s right kiddo,” Stepping forward and putting the two different sauces away, for the time being, Patton wore a patient smile on his face. “You don’t have to talk or even interact with him until you’re ready to learn more about him. To be honest…” For a moment that moral side stopped, a look of deep echoing sadness falling into the crevices of the worry lines on Patton’s face. “I think that it might take him a while to get used to everything, I… just the way he responded to being told he didn’t have to do something.. he.. he…” Patton’s bottom lip trembled, and Virgil felt the tears coming before he even saw them. 

Of course, he was upset about how Self Preservation had responded. Even Virgil had accepted Patton’s kindness, and he had never cried from just being given the most basic amount of respect. If he was being entirely honest… the entire thing had worried him as well, because whatever it was.. and whatever had happened... He got the feeling that the truth was traumatic at the worst, and excruciatingly painful in the very least. Regardless, all he could do was nod his head at Patton’s words, he didn’t know what it felt like for the moral side if he was being entirely honest. He would never know, that is what it was like to feel things so powerfully and so constantly in the extremes that Patton did. 

So the very least that he could do was nod his head, and at least attempt to understand how he felt about this.

“Well,” That one word weighed a ton on his tongue, “I’ll leave you two to the cooking thing.” He almost felt bad for leaving Logan with Patton while he was in this state of mind, but really, nothing cheered their loveable moral side up more than cooking with Logan. So offering the pair one last wave as he sank out, he was pretty sure that they were in good hands.

At least he hoped so.

Meanwhile, in his own room… Deceit had absolutely no idea on what to fill his room with. 

It should have been simple, Roman had told him to imagine whatever he felt like and it would appear in the proper place that he would have wanted it. So it really should have been no problem to make his room an exact match to the one that he had left behind, minus all of the black clothing and evil spooky snake decor that he had torn to shreds before he had left. But therein lied the problem, he couldn’t make his room look exactly like his old one. Virgil had seen his old room, Virgil had spent many of nights in his old room with the two of them laying on the floor doing anything from watching old classic movies to sleeping on his massive bed together when Virgil and a good chunk of the time Deceit, didn’t want to sleep alone. Virgil had been to his old room, and he would know right off the bat that it was him based on what he filled it with. 

So he was left there, with a rather blank and empty room, and no ideas. 

“Uugh,” He grumbled to himself, crossing his arms rather grumpily, “This shouldn’t be as hard as it is…” It really shouldn’t have been, and that was perhaps the most pathetic thing about this entire situation. He had the chance to start anew, and he hadn’t even begun starting yet! Well… that was a lie. He had summoned a closet full of clothing, so there was at least that. Allowing him to change out of the sweltering sweater that he had worn, swapping it out for a sleeveless turtleneck that was bright yellow and spotted with sunflowers. 

He had to stick to his branding after all. 

In the end, he wasn’t sure how much time he spent in his room, filling it with random things to see how it looked before settling for a bed, a dress that held a tv on top of it, a few bright yellow beanbag chairs that looked like massive smooshed sunflowers, a massive rug that Deceit could just sink his toes into it was so soft, and finally… a few bookcases that had absolutely nothing in them yet. 

His room was full of stuff, and yet… it felt absolutely foreign to him, a part of him wanted the comfort of his old room back. The walls that were brick but lined with many of posters from different musicals over the years, the ever-present chill that had always made him bundle up with a ton of different blankets, his old stuffed snake that had long since lost her button eyes and a good chunk of the stuffing that had been inside of her thanks to Remus’ ‘doctor days’, and most importantly… he missed the comfort of feeling safe. In his room he knew that he could relax, it was his room after all. But here… where Roman could summon his room and possibly take it away on a whim, it almost felt like.. like his room wasn’t entirely his. He knew that he could shift his own room wherever he wanted to down in the subconscious, if he wanted it to be closer to the kitchen then he’d only have to think of it and it would happen. Here… he didn’t have that safety, that comfort, that knowledge of knowing of his room would always be his. 

It was kind of stupid, in its own little way.

Because he had chosen this, a part of him knew what would happen as soon as he left everything behind, as soon as he took the scissors to his things making his room look more like a crime scene than a bedroom, when he dropped everything even his title. He knew what he was doing, and so he was going to have to deal with it. 

Whether he liked it or not. 


End file.
